Father Lord we just thank you for this new day and we thank you Father for the institution of marriage which is actually more than an institution because that word institution it gives me the idea of something very staid and very formal. And I would say that marriage Lord is more of a relationship instituted by you, more of a …, it's a joyful thing Father, it's a joyful celebration of the love between two human beings, a man and a woman. And I thank you for marriage Lord. I thank you for my own marriage. I thank you that this year I celebrate 20 years of marriage with my dear husband and I thank you for giving me my husband. I thank you that even though we are so different Lord that he brings something to my life that I never had and I bring something to him that he never had and you know we contemplate each other and we give each other things that are lacking in our lives. And I just thank you for marriage Father. You had such a good idea when you thought about marriage and I pray Father that the enemy will never be able to spoil that good idea. I just bind? the work of the enemy in every marriage represented here today and I thank you Father that by the powers of the Holy Spirit we are going to make our marriages great marriages. We are going to make our marriages a monument to your love, a memorial to your love and your care and the price that you paid to save each one of us. And we thank you for the power of the Holy Spirit that helps us to live triumphant lives, that helps us to have wonderful marriages and we thank you for this Father in Jesus name we pray. Amen.

And for those of you who are currently not married, listen to the whole subject because (a) you can counsel someone, (b) you never know what's around the corner. You know you might be getting married or remarried and you know knowledge is so wonderful because the bible says that knowledge and when I say knowledge I mean Godly knowledge, I mean knowledge of the truth can set us free. Okay? So it's very important even though it may not be applicable to your life right now. Listen to this series of ** because you never know who you can help or how it will affect your marriage down the track.

Oh Sam. I wanted Sam to give a testimony. Oh Bettie, could you set the tape one minute, sorry Sam I didn't see your hand. Sam has a glorious testimony. Remember we prayed for ……

Okay I'm quite excited about the subject today. Some of you know that I actually speak on the subject of covenants in the bible college and I have been doing it for the last 5 years. And one of the reasons the subject was so close to my heart is because of my legal training. You see the whole subject of covenant is a legal relationship and my legal background excites me that God would choose a legal form or a legal way to cement a human relationship. You know the thing I've discovered after so many years of studying the word is that God always chooses the right way. You know he doesn't take short cuts. When God is going to do something he plans way way way ahead. He planned to send Judas before the foundation of the world and planned the way that he was going to send Judas. He was going to do it through legal ways or legal moves because you see the devil had a leasehold on the earth and God respected that, God respects people's rights even the devil's rights. So God had to plan a way, a legal way to bring Jesus into the earth and he chose to do that through you know somebody dying, a lamb being slain and a lamb giving his life because that was the legal way and I respect God so much for that. You know that, he doesn't shortcut people's rights even the devil's rights and he finds a legal way to do things. And the wonderful thing about covenant is that it is God's chosen way, God's chosen way to create and cement human relationships. That is the way God has chosen. And if God has chosen it it must be the very best way.

So covenant is very biblical. In the old covenant in the Old Testament we had the old covenant which was made between God and the children of Israel. And in the New Testament we have the new covenant in the blood of Jesus Christ and doesn't that sound heavenly. Competition. Okay so what is covenants. Well the Hebrew word for covenant is the word berit, b-e-r-i-t and the word berit means to better, to bind or to make a treaty, to make a legally binding agreement, okay? So berit means the better of the bind and the Greek word is Diatheke. Diatheke means the same thing but it is in Greek. D-i-a-t-h-e-k-e. Diatheke talks about a testament. You know like a will. A will is a legally binding document except diatheke talks about a legally binding relationship that is established between two parties. So when the bible talks about covenants it is talking about something that is binding, it is talking about something that is legal and it is talking about something that is permanent.

Even in the bible when God makes covenants with people God doesn't bring the covenants to an end. People were the ones who fail with the covenant and because they fail the covenant God has to introduce a new covenant. God never brought it to an end. People failed God. Okay? So when God thinks covenant, he thinks binding, he thinks legal and he thinks permanent. And the wonderful thing about covenant is it's God's way, it's God's way. So covenant is commitment. It's really a permanent commitment. A covenant is relationship between two parties and it is God's chosen way to create commitment and relationship between two parties. Whether it be between God and the children of Israel, God and Christians or even between two people like a husband and a wife.

So the essence of covenants is commitment, is relationship and is permanency. Permanency. Covenant establishes this concept of permanency. And commitment is a very old fashioned word in some circles today. Not among the Christians because the bible encourages us to be committed, but in modern society commitment is a very old fashioned word. I know lots of people who think that commitment is a degree of giving yourself, a certain amount of giving yourself. It's not a total of giving of yourself. They are willing to give so much and no more. The idea of a pre-nuptial agreement, the whole idea of signing a pre-nuptial agreement is that you expect something to go wrong, isn't that right, you expect something to go wrong. And if it does go wrong you will have established principles for bringing that relationship to an end so the whole idea of commitment is not, you know when there is a pre-nuptial agreement you do not have commitment. Now Kerry Packer's son was engaged to Kate Moss, isn't that right? And they were just engaged. Kate Fisher not Kate Moss, Kate Fisher. And they had a pre-nuptial agreement and when their engagement came to an end she got $10M and an apartment overlooking the Sydney Harbour or something, you know? I tell you what they didn't expect that thing to be permanent, they didn't expect that this thing was going to last forever. You know they made provision for failure. You see they built failure into the relationship.

But when God makes covenants he doesn't build failure into it because he expects it to last forever, okay? And God's way is always the best way. I mean that's what I have found after years of being a Christian, God's way is always the best way for God's way is also different. Have you noticed that God is different? I mean look at the principles in God's word, we call them the paradoxes of the Christian faith. When God says give first, sow first and then you will reap, all right? He says believe first and then you will see the answer to your prayer. He says trust first and then I will act. Or he says obey first, he always says do something first even though you don't see the realisation of it. He wants you to exercise the faith and do it first and then he will act in response to our faith. So God's way is always different. You know He never acts the way human worldly values say that we should act. He is always different. And so covenants is a very different way of cementing a human relationship. It's not a way that the world would choose because it establishes commitment and permanency. It also establishes sacrifice and loyalty. Again two very old fashioned concepts in the world's view. Two very biblical concepts - sacrifice and loyalty.

And you know Jesus epitomised sacrifice, loyalty, commitment and permanency. If you look at John Chapter 15 and Verse 13. John Chapter 15, Verse 13 talks about Jesus' commitment. It says: 'Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends'. And that's what Jesus did for us. He laid his life down for us. He showed every virtue of commitment, loyalty, permanency and commitment. You know Jesus showed every one of these attributes because he was willing to die for his friends and he calls us friends. In Verse 15 he calls us friends. So Jesus is the example to us of what it means to be permanently connected to another human being or another person. So let's look at covenants, let's look at what brings a covenant into being. What brings a covenant into being. Now the wonderful thing about covenants is as I said it was God's idea. You know the only time that God said that something was not good, something that God did was not good was in Genesis Chapter 2. Genesis Chapter 2 was the only time God said that something he did was not good. And in Genesis Chapter 2 and Verse 18: 'And the Lord God said "it is not good that man should be alone". I will make him a helper comparable to him'.

You know I have explained this to you before that when God first created man Adam, Adam had both male and female elements in him. He was one person with male and female and Adam was lonely because every animal in the kingdom of God had a companion and so God separated the female components from Adam, he took out the female from Adam and from Adam came Ish and Isha, the male and the female. And two physical entities were created, Ish and Isha. And Ish and Isha were male and female whereas Adam was a human, he was human with a male and female within him. So God separated the female element and created two physical people.

But then look at Genesis Chapter 2 and Verse 23. Let's start reading from Verse 21: 'And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man and Adam said "this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman' because she was taken out of man. That for a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh". Now here's another, if we're going to collect paradoxes, here's another paradox. Two human beings, two physical entities are called one flesh. Okay, two physical beings in some strange way in the eyes of God, two separate individuals, two human beings are deemed to be one flesh.

So when God looks at a married couple he does not see, he sees the individual but he sees the individuals united together as one flesh. And that is the best concept of covenant as we're going to look at today. That covenant is community, covenant is community. Spiritual mathematics doesn't make sense. It says 1 + 1 = 1. Okay? It doesn't make sense but this is how God sees it and how God deems it. They are community. And you know man is made in the image of God and God is a community. God is one God in three persons, three separate persons make one God, okay? So 1 +1 + 1 = 1. This is strange mathematics but it is spiritually accurate. And in God's mathematics 1 + 1 = 1. A husband and a wife are one flesh. And this is called community. God is a community, he's a community of three persons that make up one God called the trinity. And when God created man in his image God conceived of the idea of community. He said I will establish this concept of community in the human race where two totally separate human beings from totally different backgrounds, totally different parents, sometimes totally different temperaments in fact usually totally different temperaments will come together, sometimes different countries, sometimes different races, different cultures, all right. These two separate human beings will come together in a covenant relationship and they will become one. It boggles the mind doesn't it. But this is how God conceived of it. Community is the union of equals. It is not a union where one party is subordinate to another. It's a community of equals. Submissive to each other. Do you know the difference between subordination and submission? Subordination is where one person is lesser than the other but submission is of equal. I submit to you and you submit to me. We voluntarily submit to each other. We voluntarily put our rights down and our privileges down in order to serve the other person.

So this community is a union of equals voluntarily submissive to each other. And you look at God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. There are equals. There are three equal persons totally submissive to each other. The book of Hebrews says that Jesus obeyed God and came down as a human being. He obeyed, he voluntarily obeyed God, okay? So it's not as if God said "Jesus you have to go to earth". No Jesus said "Here I am Father, I will go". So it's an equal union. And community is very much the heart of covenant. Community is very much the heart of covenant.

And that brings us to unity. Unity is also the heart of covenants. You see unity, we've just read in Verse 24: 'A man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh'. You know I used to wonder - I have these strange questions that I ask the Holy Spirit all the time - and one day I asked him and I said "Holy Spirit why does a man have to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. Why don't you say the wife will leave her father and mother and be joined to the husband. Why have you written it this way?" And I wondered for a long time and then one day dear Glenn lent me a book that answered that question. You know sometimes God has different ways of answering your questions and Glenn lent me the book and there was the answer to the question that I had asked God and the answer was that in most primitive societies the woman was helpless. In the early history of mankind women were not allowed to be educated, women were not trained for a career or for a craft or for a trade and so the woman was basically helpless with no resources. She was totally dependent on her family, her father and her mother to look after her. So in primitive society and this is the society in which the bible was written, the early society of, the early history of mankind, the man had independent resources and the woman had none. And God wanted to protect the woman the female. So God instituted this rule that a man would leave the security of his family because he had independent resources and he will come and live in the wife's family. Now the wife's family would accept him because he brought with him his trade, his skills, his ability to earn, his ability to contribute.

Whereas if the woman had left the security of her family and gone to her husband's family she would have brought with her nothing except her ability to bear children for she would have been subject to them and dependent on them and on their goodwill and therefore she was helpless, okay? So God instituted the rule that the man who could bring his resources and his training and his skill, he would come into the woman's family and he would contribute to the woman's family and therefore he was an accepted member of the family because of his contribution. And the woman would stay in the security of her family and she would not be abused or she would not be denigrated because she had nothing to contribute to the family. Do you see what God was doing? I know of many Asian societies like India which are ungodly societies, heathen pagan societies where the woman leaves the security of her family and goes and lives in the husband's family and she is abused and she is beaten and she is very ill treated by her mother-in-law. And God saw that, God saw that this would happen and so he passed this rule that the man leaves and joins the woman's family. Not only is a man able to contribute, he is also bigger and stronger and his mother-in-law wouldn't beat up on him. So it made sense to me and I said "Well praise God because I come from an Asian society and I've seen it all the time". And in my own marriage I left my family and I went and lived in my mother-in-law's house and my mother-in-law is a godly woman. But I felt very second rate in my mother-in-law's house because my mother-in-law was running the house and I had to do what my mother-in-law said. I didn't have a home to run until I came to Australia. I used to cry out to the Lord and say "Lord I want my own home". Because I was subject to my mother-in-law and I was doing everything my mother-in-law said and I felt like half a woman. You know I felt totally inadequate as a wife and as a mother.

And until I came to Australia where I blossomed because I had my own home and I could do as I wanted to do. And so I saw that in my own life that I had gone to my mother-in-law's house and lived there and you know when I came to Australia my husband told me. He said "You know I did a very wrong thing by taking you and putting you in my mother's home and expecting you to live there." And my husband apologised to me for doing that. And only once, he only mentioned it once but for my husband that's a great thing, you know. But do you understand how God has our best interests at heart. And I love him for that.

So let's look at this concept of unity. So unity describes physical union because a man and a woman be joined together. Now it describes physical union because this is what a marriage relationship is about, you know one of the things that happens in a marriage relationship is that a man and a woman get together and that's how they form a family. Everyone knows that? If you don't come and see me afterwards and I'll try and explain it to you. You can see that I'm blushing! Okay but unity is not just physical union. Unity is also unity of mind purpose and emotions. Unity of soul and so you have unity of body which is part of the marriage relationship but there must be a unity of soul and spirit. If you only have a unity of body it is not covenant because covenants speaks of a three-fold union. It speaks of a union of your spirit, a union of your soul and a union of your body. And I understand that some of you are not married to believers, I understand that, and if you are not married to a believer you cannot have a unity of spirit because that spirit is not joined to Jesus Christ and if it is not joined to Jesus Christ the two of you cannot be united in your spirit. So I understand it but the way covenant works is that covenant is a unity of all three parts of you. Because you are a tri-part being and unity speaks of a unity of all three parts. Okay? In Psalm 133 God talks about unity. Psalm 133 starting at Verse 1: 'Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down on the beard, the beard of Aaron, running down the edge of his garments, it is like the dew of Hermon descending upon the mountains of Zion, for there the Lord commandeth the blessing life for evermore'. So where there is unity there is the blessing of the Lord. And if you don't have that blessing in your life because you are not married to a believer, pray, because nothing is impossible for God. God can bring your husband into the kingdom.

When I got married my marriage was an arranged marriage. Very foreign concept to some people but this is what my culture was, an arranged marriage. And my husband was not born again. My marriage was arranged on the basis that we were both of the same race, we were both professional and we both came from related families or families that knew each other. And that was very important because my parents would not have allowed me to go to a stranger's family. They wanted me to be in a family of known people that would look after me. We were not related by blood so much as related by acquaintanceship and by community. And my husband had been in the brethren church, you know the brethren church? But he wasn't born again and when my marriage was arranged my parents told him that he had to be baptised and he had to take lessons in Christianity before he could marry me. So that's what he did, he actually went to his brother-in-law who was a pastor, a lay pastor and he took lessons in Christianity in a sense that he took lessons in the bible which he had never actually read before and he was baptised and he was made born again. He was actually born again just before he married me because this was the condition my parents put. You have to accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour before you can marry our daughter. And my husband did it and I wonder why he did it. But even though he was born again he was a very young Christian. He was brand new. And I had been a Christian since I was 10 years old. And the first 10 years of our marriage were so difficult because I had lived and walked with the Lord for so many years and every word out of my mouth was "Oh Jesus" this and "the Lord" this, you know? And my husband was very young in the Lord.

And then something remarkable happened. It was like my husband caught the vision and he began to spend time with the Lord and he began to read his bible and he began to grow and suddenly he took off like a rocket. You know he really developed a relationship with the Lord and for a while I was lagging behind. And I remember there was one time in our marriage when my husband had to take me by the scruff of my neck, shake me and say "look you need to spend more time with the Lord". You know it was amazing because I was into babies and nappies and I was letting my relationship with the Lord lapse and it was just wonderful, it was a miracle from the Lord that this baby Christian that I had married suddenly - and of course I must tell you that I prayed a lot. I used to spend, even before my husband took off like a rocket I prayed a lot. Because I found that we were not united in purpose, we were not united in heart because our values were different. He was still very much of the world and I loved the Lord with all my heart. And so I prayed to the Lord, I used to pray and pray and pray and it happened, my husband took off like a rocket and he is still going, he is still going. It's wonderful. And we became united. Our marriage covenant became stronger than ever when my husband's total commitment to the Lord matched mine and we became one in spirit soul and body and it was just wonderful. And it happened ladies because I prayed, I prayed and prayed and I remember that I never prayed so hard for anything in my life than for my husband to be a companion of me in every sense of the world. In the sense that we loved the Lord together. So that unity of purpose came about in this covenant that my husband and I had because I prayed and there is a blessing in that unity and we are experiencing the blessing today. So there you have it, you have community and you have unity.

The third area of covenant, the third element of covenant is mutuality. So what is mutuality. Mutuality is where both parties are in the commitment. Marriage is not unilateral, it is not a unilateral commitment. It's a bi-lateral commitment. You know like you have a three tier unilateral, bi-lateral, well marriage is a bi-lateral commitment in the sense that both parties have to do it equally. Now most of the marriages I see, one party tries harder than the other, usually the wife. Excuse me, usually the wife. Because we women, I don't know, we're soft inside and when we really want something we really try. And I see these wives and how hard they work and how hard they want their marriages to succeed and there's no reciprocity. None whatsoever, the husband is, usually the husband is you know he's sort of emotionally detached from the scene. So what I'm saying is covenant is mutuality. Both parties have to work hard. Both parties have to contribute equally. And simultaneously. You know usually one party tries and the other party responds. But I'm saying that mutuality involves both parties serving each other and being committed equally and simultaneously. Then both parties live in a state where they want to serve each other and they want to do for each other and they want to bless each other all the time. And that's what Heaven's going to be like by the way. Heaven's going to be a place where we're all going to serve each other and we're going to be servants to each other all the time. And you and I will live for each other to see how we can bless each other and make each other joyful in the Lord in Heaven. It's going to be total service, total servanthood. And a little bit of that must come up into our marriages. You know that we live for each other and that we serve each other.

I mean no matter how tired I am, my husband tends to work late and we all have dinner, my children and I have dinner early, no matter how tired I am when he comes home I get off the couch where I'm usually like that by the end of the day and I serve him his dinner and then I clear up and put away so that he can sit on the couch and relax for a little while after a hard day at the office. You know it's hard. To be a servant is very hard. To serve each other is very hard. But it's something that you have to do, you have to put your own self-interest aside and serve the other party. Servanthood is something that Jesus did, it's sacrifice, service is sacrifice and I know all about it. And I wash and I clean and I do it out of love and as a service to my family. It's sacrifice but it's also something because my husband does for me equally. You know it's mutuality and it's commitment and it's service and it's sacrifice.

And that is why I don't understand with modern day trends where a man and a woman get married and they have separate names so you don't even know they're married to each other and they talk about separate bank accounts, my account your account, my car your car, you know? I don't understand because there's not that mutuality that physical unity and a unity of heart and purpose and mind and soul to have separate accounts. In fact there was a couple in the church who did that and I got really …. I went up to them and said you know covenant means and I'm going to talk to you about covenant. One of the aspects of covenant is that there is a change of name. One party gives up their name and takes the name of the other party. Or there is a change of name in that the party, the lesser party of the covenant, the weaker party in the case of God for instance Abraham. When God and Abraham made a covenant Abraham's name was Abram. And when God made a covenant with Abram he changed Abram's name to Abraham. And when you look at the name Abraham it's got "a" "h" in it and "a" "h" is actually part of God's name in the Hebrew. So what God did was he gave a part of his name to Abram so that when Abraham took on his new name he had a part of God in him, he had a part of God in his name. And of course the meanings changed, you all know about the meanings. The new meaning was the father of many nations so that every time he said it he made a positive confession as well.

But the essence of covenants is that one party gives up their name and takes on the name of the other party so they are forever united in name. And this is one of the aspects of covenant. Part of the unity of covenant. So the concept of covenant is everything I have is yours and everything you have is mine, so it becomes ours. So it's not mine and yours anymore, it's ours. This is a very important part of covenant. We share everything alike. When God made covenant he said "everything I have is yours but then everything you have belongs to God as well". And people forget that, they want everything that God has, "oh yes I want the cattle on the (Inaudible) hill, you know I want the gold in the ground and the silver" but they forget that everything they have belongs to God. They actually hold in stewardship for God. So the essence of covenants is that you give up your rights and the other person gives up their rights and together you hold everything together, all right?

So looking at covenant again. So we talked about community, we talked about unity, we talked about mutuality and we also talked about commitment. But looking at this holds the elements of the covenant, let's look at the elements of the covenant. I mentioned to you the change of name. Okay if you want to see that, the change of name, I'll give you the reference, it's Genesis Chapter 17 where Abraham changed his name but he took on part of God's name. Now the other element of covenant and this applies to the marriage covenant is that covenant also means these things. It means that there is an exchange of oaths or promises, an exchange of oaths and promises and with regard to the covenant between God and Abraham you will see this in Genesis Chapter 15. In Genesis Chapter 15 There was an exchange of oaths and promises.

Now we do that when we get married, we make oaths and promises don't we, okay? And we do that in the context of a ceremony. A ceremony is very much part of initiating covenant. You have a ceremony and it's usually a public ceremony because you do it in front of people. You make a commitment in front of people. You don't go and hide in a hole and make a commitment. You have a commitment in public and the commitment is evidenced by a ceremony and at the ceremony there is an exchange of oaths and promises, there's an exchange of names in that one party takes on the name of the other person so that they have one name. Then there is also an exchange of gifts. Part of the covenant ceremony is that there's an exchange of gifts. Now in the East and in Asia this is a big thing. You know the gifts are very elaborate, very expensive. The bridegroom gives the bride a very expensive present and the bride gives the bridegroom a very expensive present. I have been in marriage ceremonies in Malaysia where the bride's presents could have filled a truck. You know when the bride's family is very rich the presents that come, oh no when the bridegroom's family is very rich the presents that come to the bride can fill a truck. It can include a car, it can include a whole wardrobe, all the cutlery and crockery that she can want. You know all that comes as a present, and then the bride's family has to reciprocate and give the bridegroom a present as well. And also they can give money, money can be exchanged. So there is an exchange of presents which shows you know, I think one of the things that happens when there's an exchange of presents is that there's a sacrifice involved because you give to the other party to show how much they are appreciated and how much they are welcomed into your family. Then there's a celebration or a feast. You know Christians especially are very fond of this. They eat on every occasion, have you noticed? Christians like to eat? You know any occasion we'll have a party or a celebration. And I think we do that in Woman on the Word as well, okay? And then there's a symbol of the commitment. In a marriage it's usually the ring. And if you look at the ring, the marriage ring.

I actually wanted, my husband gave me two things when we got married. He gave me the ring and he gave me a chain. Now the chain is an Indian symbol of marriage. It's called a thali - t-h-a-l-i, and among the Indian people the wife wears the chain until the day the husband dies. She never takes it off and the day he dies she takes it off and she never wears it again and she melts it down so that the next child that gets married uses the gold from that chain and makes a chain for his bride. He can't use the same chain, no, he has to melt it down and make a chain. And I wanted to wear it but I went for a pastor's breakfast this morning and the chain is kind of chunky, that's why I didn't wear it but that is part of the symbol of marriage among the Indians. Then there is of course the ring. And the ring is very symbolic because it is a circle and a circle symbolises a never ending, an eternal, affinity, infinity. A circle. And that's why we exchange rings because it's a symbol that we are married for ever because it goes on and on and on. It's a circle and that's why it's a symbol of the commitment that we are giving to each other. A symbol. And that's why I don't hold with people not wearing their wedding rings. I think it's a symbol not only of the fact that you've received a symbol from your husband of your commitment, it's also a symbol to the rest of the world "Hands off this person is married". Isn't it? This person is married. That ring shows you, shows people that you are committed to another human being. So hands off. So it's a seal or a sign or a symbol of marriage.

In Genesis Chapter 17 the symbol of the commitment between God and Abraham was circumcision. Male circumcision. It's a ring because you cut off the skin in a ring. But the symbol of a human marriage is a ring or the 'palee'. In some societies they even do something like plant a tree and that tree begins to symbolise, as long as that tree lives and grows it symbolises that a relationship has been formed and cemented between two people, two classes, two countries, whatever. And I think they still do it, they still plant trees as a symbol of covenants.

When David Livingstone went to Africa as part of his ability to minister in Africa he had to cut covenant with the tribes in Africa and with every tribe that he covenanted he had to have a ceremony where he cut his hand and the other parties cut their hand and they joined their hands together and rubbed their blood which is not very advisable nowadays. And then they didn't treat that cut. That cut was allowed to heal naturally so it became a scar and that scar was the symbol of commitment or covenant. So everywhere you went you showed that scar and that scar became a symbol that you had made covenant. Now he cut covenanted lots of tribes, I don't know how many scars he had. It would have been pretty much a lot and I think he was a doctor, yes he was a doctor, so he wouldn't have let it get infected but it was a pretty horrible way to cut covenant you know to have a scar.

Now you know of course that in a marriage covenant the night after the marriage or the night of the marriage, the shedding of the blood is a symbol of covenant. Some societies, some cultures have elevated it to a level where the bride and groom will go into the marriage chamber and the whole community will be waiting outside the door and then the bridegroom has to produce the bedsheet outside the door to show that the covenant has been cemented so to speak. So they have to actually produce the bed sheet. So that is part of the marriage covenant. That's why this concept of a girl remaining or even a couple remaining virginal until their marriage is so important because part of the covenant of marriage is that they must be …..

(Second side) So we have seen that a covenant, the elements of covenant I'll go over them again. There is a change of name or an exchange of name or an exchange of names. There is a ceremony at which oaths and promises are made. There is a celebration or a feast and there is an exchange of gifts or possessions. There is a symbol of the marriage, or a seal or a sign which can be a ring or a chain or a tree or anything (Inaudible). And there is the shedding of blood, which is you know that's what it was originally, and that's what God would have liked to have seen, the shedding of blood is part of the marriage covenant. So we see that marriage covenant has a lot of meaning behind it. Covenant in the eyes of God, covenant has great meaning and God himself has embraced covenant as his chosen method to establish relationship with people. And if you are in a covenant of marriage, in the eyes of God, God sees your promise as permanent, as a united mutual loving sacrificial service kind of relationship that is indissoluble.

I want you to turn to Malachi Chapter 2 and we are coming to an end. Malachi Chapter 2 - and here is God's opinion on marriage. Malachi Chapter 2 and Verse 10, starting at Verse 10: 'Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another by profaning the covenant of the Fathers. Judah has dealt treacherously and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the Lord's holy institution which he loves. He has married the daughter of a foreign God. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this being awake and aware, yet who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts. And this is the second thing you do'.

Okay the first thing that God hated was they married unbelievers. Okay, this is what God hated, the first thing. The second thing, and this is the second thing you do: 'You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying so he does not regard the offering any more, nor receives it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say for what reason? Because the Lord has been witness…' This is very interesting: 'The Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously. Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. And did he not make them one having a remnant of the Spirit, and why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one garment with violence, says the Lord of Hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously'. If you want to know what God thinks about covenant, this is God's opinion about covenant.

And I just wanted to say that the other day in the papers there was this interesting survey about men and women and they did a survey on men first and they discovered that a man wants three things from his marriage. He wants security, he wants stability and he wants service, you know? And these are the three things that men look for in their marriage. Now here's what women look for. Women want communication, they don't want a strong silent type, they want a husband to come to them and say "I love you", actually express it. They want their husband to say "You are a good wife, I'm really really happy with you, I'm so pleased with you". They want men to express themselves. They want men to say things. And I know a lot of men feel things. I know a lot of men in their hearts they appreciate their wives. But women want men to express it. The other thing and this is related to a woman's side of things. You know after a number of years in ministry, and this has been borne out by a lot of surveys, they found that the number one problem with most women is the lack of self esteem. Most women do not esteem themselves highly and one of the reasons for that is because the men do not verbalise their love and their praise for their wives. Which women need, they need for the men to do this. Your husband can love you with all his heart silently and you do not appreciate it or realise it and your self esteem is low because he never says it, okay? So women want communication of love and of praise and women want physical affection. It doesn't have to be sex. It can be a cuddle, it can be just someone holding their hand or someone putting their arm around them and saying "I love you" for they need it. They are created to have physical expressions of love.

So women want verbalised expressions of love, they want physical expressions of love and they want commitment. You see one thing about women and this is typical of me as well is that we put our roots down very quickly. When we have a home or we own something we actually possess it, or we own it. We are very quick to put our roots down. So we like commitment. A man likes stability in the sense that a man likes to come home from work and know that his family is there, his home is there and there's peace and order in his home and so forth. But a woman likes commitment, she likes a man to tell her that he is making a home for her and that he is making it especially for her and that she is loved and esteemed in his eyes, okay? So a man wants security stability and service and a woman wants expressions of love, physical affection and a commitment, a permanent commitment from a man. So this is what the survey said and I thought it was very interesting. And it talks about mutuality, it talks about unity, community and commitment. Thank you very much.

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